Saturday, June 27

Daniel, sorry, I don't mean to 1up you, I swear!

I've been meaning to blog for a while now.... Daniel beat me to the punch! I don't mean to take away from his wonderful webcomic blog, of course....

Back before Snow Patrol was annoying, they had this really amazing song, "Run." I listened to it (and Drift by Puddle of Mudd) to help get me through my three months in Europe away from Daniel.

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up...

Daniel and I have struggled a lot lately with disappointing other people. A wise man told me you spend your first year of marriage kicking people out of the bed. When you get married, you bring in your family's traits and habits into the marriage, for good or for bad. You essentially bring them into bed with you. But to have a healthy marriage, you have to separate them! You've gotta kick your parents outta bed. This is especially hard when you live in a town where your whole family and whole in-law family lives!

But we've been creating our own little life. Yes, this might mean my mother guffaws at how I organize my cabinets. Yes, this means disappointing people... but it also means independence for our family.

I've never been more excited about our new life together. Daniel and I are so much more than simply "in looooove" like I see so many other couples using as the basis for a relationship, or even worse, marriage! We're compatible, we agree on almost every religious, political, and lifestyle paths, and we're just in sync in so many ways. We know each other so well and we really are each others' best friends. I never knew it would happen so early, no, but I'm grateful that God wants us to get started right away. And we have...

In light of all the horrible decisions I see people making lately, I encourage you, before you consider a step like marriage, get as much pre-marital counseling as possible. Not just the required "oh I get a 30% discount on my license lol" counseling. Financial counseling. Parental counseling. Pastoral counseling. Take EVERYONE'S opinions into account! A lot of people told me I was too young... and even though I disagreed, I took them seriously! After all, they had a point.... the divorce rate for people who get married under the age of 25 is DRASTICALLY higher than everyone else's!

  • Please don't get married just to have a big wedding. The longer you wait, the more money people save, the bigger wedding you'll get, and the more ideas you'll get from your soon-to-be-divorcee friends' weddings.
  • Please don't get married just to have sex. It's awesome, I'm not gonna lie, but if you think that a marriage can solely sustain on good sex alone, *cue Judas priest* you gotta another think coming! Just ask any celebrity who has been divorced!
  • Please don't get married just because you're desperate for some "home ec"-esque lifestyle. Blech! Hello, it is the 2000s. The June Cleaver lifestyle is a gross waste of a woman's (obvious superior) intelligence (IMO) and if you have a talent you should be using it! Besides, you're gonna look back 10 years from now and think, "Well, I wish I'd done ________" before getting married.

Besides... after you finally do get married (hopefully after making a good, long, well-thought out decision!) you will have to spend your first year of marriage making your OWN decisions. You'll never get to take back the opportunity to get good pre-marital advice again... because after you're married, it's over!

Over, off, & out -


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