Saturday, October 23

My Birth Story


I really just wanted to share my birth story. It's detailed, graphic, and TMI - so if you don't like the gory details, please don't read anything after this short summary sentence: Hoyt Donovan Martin was born on 10/21/2010 at 8:36 AM after four hours of labor and 18 minutes of pushing. He weighed 8lbs and 12 oz and was 21 inches long.




Long version:

It was one day past my due date, and I was not doing well emotionally. People kept telling me, "Have the baby on this day because it's ____." "Do ____, it helped induce my labor." And worst of all, "It's okay, I was LATE with my child." I would not have considered going ONE day past my due date to be such a terrible thing if other people didn't think so! The average gestational period for a first time mom is 41 weeks! But it didn't matter - I've never been a person blessed with patience, and I just wanted my baby. It felt like I was being inconvenient to other people's lives, jobs, circumstances, etc. And I hated that feeling!

Finally, I'd had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday (10/20) and, for the second week in a row, I was 3cm dilated and between 80-90% effaced. For the second week in a row, the doctor told me, "I don't think you'll be here much longer." He gave me a "gentle" membrane sweep, monitored my contractions and they were not very productive, so I was sent home and told to call if I didn't have him by the morning.

The rest of the day was spent with me in utter emotional horror, crying and trying again every known method of natural induction (except castor oil, which I'd been forbidden from since I tried unsuccessfully that Sunday and just ended up angry and with no contractions) and I just knew none of it would work.

Daniel and I went to bed that night with a special prayer - that it was in God's hands and to let things happened as He saw fit. Beforehand, we had prayed "please let us have the baby soon/today." We did not pray that, we just prayed that we would have the wisdom and the patience to deal with whatever God saw fit. If that meant considering some sort of medical induction for my emotional well-being, so be it. I went to bed that night knowing that God would give me the answers, one way or the other.

I woke up at around 3:30AM with an urge to use the bathroom. I kept getting in and out of bed, trying to go. I was irritated and sleepy and not happy. I had no cramps, no contractions, nothing but an urge to go to the bathroom. A little before 4:30, I was sitting on the toilet when I heard a distinct *pop* that sounded like a bone breaking. I stood up and fluids gushed out of me. I'd already had a "my water broke" scare the previous weekend, and it just ended with me feeling embarrassed because it amounted to nothing, so I thought, "ugh, not again!" and I thought I peed myself or had some wonderfully inconvenient discharge. I put on a little pantyliner just in case.

I laid back in bed and woke up Daniel to let him know I had had more fluid but that I wasn't getting my hopes up. Then I stood up and it kept coming. I had to change undergarments three times in five minutes, and I knew it was the real thing. Then the contractions started coming like a Ferrari - from 0 to 160 in 3 seconds! They were immediately extremely intense, 2 minutes apart - and I hopped in the shower real quick for some relief, and told Daniel to call the doctor and tell him we were on our way to the hospital and wanted a room with a jacuzzi.

He made me some eggs and toast so I'd have energy throughout labor. I scarfed them down with some water. We called our parents - my dad and his mom BOTH eagerly answered on the first ring - and they were on their way. I called my doula - my best friend Tiffany, a CNA who has attended two previous births. She didn't answer her phone, and I shrugged it off, intending to call her again at 7AM. After all, I was only in early labor, right?

We were out the door with our thankfully packed hospital bag at around 4:50AM and at the hospital by 5:08AM. I'll never forget wearing my cutest casual dress and waddling up to the door with fluid dripping down my legs and a huge wet spot on the front of my dress. The nurse saw me coming and just said, "Oh boy."

I immediately got out of that dress and into a hospital gown, and they started asking me questions. My contractions at this point had only 1 minute between them, and they were completely situated at the bottom of my uterus. I did not feel them in my back or at the front, but each one made me feel like something was ripping apart my cervix. I was checked, and again, I was still only a "tight" 3cm, fully effaced, and baby was at 0 station. It was horribly discouraging, and I thought, "well, I'll be here forever." Then, worse - I was told both rooms with a jacuzzi were taken. There was not even a shower in my room. That was the worst thing ever! I was disheartened immediately - I'd really looked forward to using water as a part of my natural birth.

I was hooked up to monitor my contractions and fetal heart rate, and the nurses were shocked and amazed at how intense the contractions were. I wasn't really able to verbalize a lot, and the worst part of everything was when they were asking me questions. I absolutely did not want to talk and I wanted people who weren't there actively helping me through labor to shut the heck up. She asked me my height, and I answered "22." Great!

Then, I threw up all over the floor - eggs and toast part 2. A sign of transition - but for all I knew, I was still at 3cm and would be for the rest of the day. My mom had just come in during this part, and she looked disgusted and horrified. I had Daniel send her out, because I could just feel her negative energy. Another nurse came in to put in the required heplock, but mentioned to me that if I allowed saline fluids, it would help with my uterine irritability. I agreed and didn't see the harm in extra fluids.

Then - a stroke of luck! One of the nurses, Susanne, knew my mother-in-law, and she actually requested me as a patient. She was wonderful to me the whole time, which was great, since my doula wasn't there yet. She could have easily been the only person in the room and I would have been fine. But that was the problem - I wasn't fine. While this was going on, I had a team of nurses coming in and out, trying to get this needle in my vein. Right now my wrists and hands are completely bruised from multiple injection sites. It was horrible. It took an hour and five people and seven injection attempts to get the dang needle in. My veins were crooked, deep, and small - plus I was dehydrated. And - because of the needle situation - I was unable to get out of bed and get on the birthing ball. By time they finally got it in, I didn't even want to. I was in so, so much pain. I had no breaks between contractions, and each one made my body shake.

I told Daniel at this point that I was going to get the epidural and lie to everyone and say I didn't get one. I told Susanne my pain was an 11 on the scale. She convinced me that a half dose of Nubain would help me focus on the progress of contractions, and that then I could decide if I wanted an epidural. She checked me again - I was 6 or 7 cm. This was at around 7:30. She was shocked, and then told me that I wouldn't even need to get an epidural because I was going so quickly. That finalized my decision - I told her I'd accept the Nubain. If I'd had access to one of the jacuzzi rooms, I would have just gone there instead. To me, it was a different way of getting to the same result. It wouldn't take away contractions, but it would help me relax and focus through them. I would have preferred a more natural route but I really wasn't that disappointed in myself - I avoided an induction and an epidural.

After the Nubain, Daniel and I completely forgot to call Tiffany. She would show up at the hospital at 9AM in shock. Anyway, the pain was still there, just as intense as before, but I didn't feel like they were ripping me apart, and I could actually visualize my progress. Then the anesthesiologist came in to find out if I was on any blood thinners, just in case I changed my mind or needed a C-section, and he looked like a Greek god. He said coyly, "I hear you won't be needing my services." I almost wanted to say yes just because he was so attractive, but I just managed a "We'll see." And before I knew it, I was at 9cm.

While I was going from 6cm to 9cm, the only thing I did to ease the pain was lie on my side, move my feet in time with the waves of the contraction, and squeeze Daniel's hand. I didn't like him to talk to me, distract me, or massage me like we practiced for nine months. I wanted to be in control of my own pain relief, I guess - but he really helped. The only things he would say are "Breathe..." and "Squeeze...." He had marks on his hands after he was through!

At 9cm, Susanne had me sit up so I would dilate. She told me to fight the urge to push, which as so many of you who've done this before know, is nearly impossible. I would lean forward with every contraction and Daniel would make me go back down. They ran to get the doctor, and I was fully dilated in ten minutes. Then they had me give a few practice pushes... it felt best to push in the "C" position with my shoulders and back raised up. It was around 8:15, and I told Daniel to go back out and get my mom so she could watch and help hold up my leg.

Pushing really, really sucked. As with everything else in my labor, it was just really intense. I was told that pushing would feel like a relief - but to me, it didn't. I was told about the ring of fire - and I assumed I'd only feel this through the last push. I didn't - I felt it with every single push. However, I knew there was only one way out, and I told myself, "Let's get it over with." Every push made me think I was ripping apart my entire pelvic floor, but I just thought, hey, it's too late to go back now. I pushed and pushed for eighteen minutes, and I did not scream or verbalize once. I just concentrated and thought about my son. The only time I raised my voice is when they asked if I wanted a mirror and I said "Absolutely not!"

When Hoyt Donovan M. came out at 8:36AM, I felt two things: an unbelievable feeling of relief, and an unreal gush of fluid. Mom later told me it scared her and she thought I was hemorrhaging. I announced to the room: "Oh my gosh, that feels SO much better." I delivered the placenta (and honestly... don't laugh... it kind of tickled.) and the doctor stitched a minor tear on the (last warning, tmi alert!) inner labia. Huh? How did I get a tear there?! They let me hold him and breastfeed him and then took him to weigh: a whopping 8lbs and 12oz! At my 38 week ultrasound growth scan, I was told he was 7lbs and 5oz, and I did not gain any weight in those two weeks! I'm glad that she'd gotten it wrong - I would have been more intimidated by pushing if I'd known he was going to be almost 9 lbs.

But I did have a lot of blood loss, and it was a bit scary. Because I'd had no pitocin or epidural to start with, they had to give me a smaller dose of pitocin to get things moving along. They pushed my uterus and fluid just kept gushing out - including several golf ball clots. I hear this is common with fast deliveries. Despite this, afterward, I felt so energetic and great. I wanted to talk to everyone and show off Donovan to the whole world. Visitors did not bother me at all. I was wide awake for the rest of the day.

Recovery has been pretty tough. The blood loss has made me feel pretty weak, and my iron counts were way low - so low, in fact, that I got an extra night's stay at the hospital. 48 hours instead of 24. Bleh. I got a prescription for heavy duty iron pills. It hurts to change positions with my pelvis, and I feel like my entire bottom is going to fall off at any time. Despite feeling so great emotionally, I feel pretty weak physically. All my visitors commented on how pale I looked.

Breastfeeding is going really great as well with the exception of painfully sore nipples. My supply, as of right this second, is fantastic. The latch is good, too. I haven't pumped yet, but I think I'm going to do really well.

Even though I love my doctors and the hospital stay was really good, I was told by Susanne that I would make a good candidate for a home birth in the future. I have about three years or more to make that decision, but I'm seriously considering it. I'd have to find a certified midwife in my area that I trust. I think that I'd really enjoy a water birth.

The most disappointing things about my labor were related to being in a hospital, even though I really enjoyed having constant access to medical professionals to talk about breastfeeding and recovery. I really wish there was a way to deliver at home and recover at a hospital! I was not at all disappointed in myself about the Nubain, and in fact, would be open to it again. I was disappointed that I didn't have time to try all my Bradley/hypno methods or get on the birthing ball, and I imagine that if I'd had a nice build-up starting with simple contractions and if my water hadn't broke first, I'd been able to use them. But I can't complain too much - my four hour labor was very lucky. My doctor said it is extremely rare for a first-time mom to deliver that quickly, without an epidural, without screaming my head off. Susanne said I was single-handedly the best delivery she'd had this year.

So after all the people who told me "there's no gold medal at the end" - fine! I award myself a silver medal instead. I'm still pretty proud of myself, especially considering how horrible my contractions were.

Also, FYI: someone's decision on circumcision is REALLY none of your business to comment on. I have wished bad thoughts on several relatives over the past few days.

Mostly though, I'm just in love, in a way I never thought possible. My whole world is now wrapped up in a blue-eyed, soft-skinned 8 pound package. He had an 8 and 9 on the Apgar scale from a touch of purple skin tone, and has a wee bit of facial bruising from such a fast delivery. He's the most gorgeous baby I've ever seen, and to me, he is completely perfect. All of it was worth it!

Monday, October 11

Anxious

It's Daniel, Jennifer is anywhere from one day to over a week away from going into labor.

Anxious I think is an understatement for me. There is such a mix of emotions I am experiencing right now. I am nervous about the trip to the hospital, I am unsure about how we will know it's time. I want to hold my son, but at the same time, I'm terrified about how I'm going to be as a father.

I would tell you that I'm sure I am going to be a great father, or that I have done my reading so I know what true labor is supposed to look like, or that I know the fastest way to the hospital and it shouldn't be a problem.

I am telling myself these things constantly, but that doesn't mean I'm not nervous. This whole pregnancy looking back seems to just have flown by. I know it's just nerves and I am as prepared as I can be. I guess I feel like writing this just to see myself say this and assuage some of my fears, but hey, why not make it public. Nothing like being neurotic in a medium where everyone can read amirite?

I guess it's natural to have anxiety about the future right before a big change, just like before you get married or start college. I got through those. I can do this. As always I will take any suggestions or words of wisdom. I can't promise I will follow it, but I will listen.

In all honesty, I can't wait to meet Donovan and start teaching him about life. I know I will learn just as much from him. For those of you reading out there, say a prayer for Jennifer, and for Donovan. I don't think I'll need as much prayer as they will, they're the ones doing all the work. Just send it all their way, I sure will be.

Wednesday, July 7

Update on Donovan Martin - the newest, now named member of our family!

How far along? 25 weeks
Weight gain/loss: Initially I had lost 15 lbs, now I'm back up 9 lbs
Maternity clothes? I haven't bought any new ones, but I've finally racked up a good collection.
Stretch marks? None yet.
Sleep? I’ve started tossing and turning just this week. Trying to sleep on my left side. But Daniel has 7:45AM classes and I'm sure I'll soon be kicked to the hide-a-bed in the living room.
Best moment this week? Daniel felt his first kick!
Food cravings: Popcorn.
Gender: Boy, boy, boy!!!!
Belly button in or out? In... but barely!
Movement? A lot at night and in the morning. He is on a Chinese sleep schedule.
What I miss? Wine and sushi and roller coasters and not having my every move judged and criticized by others... and honestly.. not talking about babies 24/7...
What I’m looking forward to: Soon I'll be in third trimester. But honestly I'm so impatient that I wish I could skip that and it would be October already. I can't believe it's only the beginning of July. I have sooo much longer to be pregnant.

Monday, May 10

A change is in the wind.

Many things have happened since I last updated.

  • We are holding off on our trip to the Philippines. Yes, I know that people "hold off" on little things they meant to accomplish all the time - like college, jobs, moving out and living independently like God instructed us to do in Genesis 2:24... but I really mean it. God's will doesn't just disappear from our lives, and my God still tells me what He wants me to do.... but on that same note, God's will certainly does not work on our time.
  • I got a new job. I am working not only for EPPC Global Management now, my dad's wonderful company, but I am also working for Riverworks Marketing Group. It is run by a fantastic couple just getting started, and so far I love everything about this job. I write and research for articles to go into their clients' websites or newsletters. Soon I will learn about SEOs, integrated social network marketing.. so much more. I love that all my little talents have combined into this one perfect job. Not to mention the extreme flexibility and being able to work from home.
  • Daniel and I have purchased a house. This house is an absolute steal. It is brick and veneer paneling on the outside, and gorgeous new paint and hardwood floors on the inside. All new kitchen appliances. Ample yard space. Three bedrooms, one spacious bathroom. Central heating and a/c. We are very, very blessed to have been able to purchase this home at an outstanding price.
  • Perhaps the biggest change and surprise: we are expecting our first child around October 19th. This was what led to the three above life decisions, and how God honored this little surprise with his will and our ability to work hard and live independently with the above blessings. I was shocked by how quickly things just fell into place after coming into God's will.

I'll be honest - I was not expecting - or even wanting - this pregnancy. I struggled with it off and on (baby bug, then career bug - it's still instilled in most women that you have to choose between the two) but ultimately I felt like God was calling me overseas and it was not my time. We continued regular marital practices to ensure pregnancy would not occur. I'm not some thoughtless silly girl and I prided myself, perhaps a bit too much, on my reproductive knowledge and scoffed those who simply "got pregnant" while "forgetting" to get birth control. I've been on birth control since I was 15 due to medical issues - and I would certainly never deceive my husband. Still, it happened anyway.

I imagined good financial wealth for my first child, a house, and two parents with college degrees and stable careers. I was terrified. I cried and sobbed to Daniel and asked why this would happen to me. Yes, I know that it's terrible for a woman to feel this way. I know that it's ungodly to not appreciate something that some women struggle with for years and years. Daniel never told my that my emotions were "wrong" and supported me with optimism - like he always does.

And then, after coming to the slow but sure realization of what my new reality was, I found myself with a contract to a house (we're moving in the first week of June) and the perfect job. Daniel received more work and continues to work on his college degree at his own pace in order to keep food on the table while furthering his own career. I've never been more proud of him, and I would say I've never been more proud of myself - women often complain about having to work or having to be an adult while pregnant. Women say they "can't" finish school while pregnant. While being a mother. Etc etc - but I know I'd never be able to do any of this without the support of a great family and the provisions of God in my life. (also, that is ONE thing I had going for me - I already graduated from college.)

But God will provide for you, and I've never seen that to be more clear. Don't ever be afraid to take that extra step - ENROLL back in college, move out, and TRUST GOD. You are in His hands... would he really lead you astray?

Now we have grown excited. Mother's Day just passed me by, and I'm almost in my 17th week of pregnancy. I'm not one of those women that thinks I deserve a Mother's Day when all I did so far was uh... have a little fun with my husband and happen to get pregnant, but it was an eye-opener from how far I've come since I cried over the little digital frame that read "pregnant."

And I've been blessed with an easy pregnancy that has been right on track with glowing reviews from my obstetrician the whole time (except some weight loss... but that's an entire other rant!) We will know the gender on June 3rd and I am just in awe of how God blesses us, we who do not deserve it. To Him goes all the glory.


Tuesday, February 16

What a cliche

It may be cliche, but I'm really going to make an attempt to update more.

Though we are not Catholic or liturgical, Daniel and I choose to involve ourselves in the Lent tradition. We are not necessary strict about the specific rules laid out by the Catholic church, but for forty days, we give something up that we like a lot, and try to remain frugal otherwise in both our diet and our lifestyle.

This year, I will be giving up pizza, my absolute favorite food. Daniel will be giving up soft drinks. But I should say right now that this is not a diet, this is not for our weight loss. Many Christians I know (most of whom are not Catholic and/or liturgical) use Lent as an excuse to give up dessert, or give up bad foods, as an attempt to lose weight. It frustrates me to no end. The Lent season is not about losing weight for Jesus. It's not about YOU at all. It's about going through a period of self-denial, penitence, and most importantly, prayer to remember what Jesus went through during His time here on earth.

Another part of Lent that Christians often forget is charity giving. Daniel and I are blessed beyond all means, and we have more than enough for clothes, food, shelter, utilities, (Daniel's) school, and even entertainment. Not everyone has been this blessed. We tithe regularly, and we give to most every organization when we are prompted, at stores, at church, and through other means. I fell in love with community service at Lee University, where I was required to complete eighty hours to graduate. But I don't know that I would say I was pro-active about it, without getting the credit hours for it. However, when I graduated, I agreed to continue this service, and signed a certificate promising I would, long after graduation. This was completely optional - but it was very important to me.

"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it... but I'm afraid He might ask me the same question." - Anonymous


I will be keeping this in mind as I "celebrate" this Lenten season. I invite all Christians - even if you're super-Protestant-Pentecostal like me - to give Lent a try. Don't resent liturgical traditions just because they aren't specifically Biblical. Any way to grow closer to God through Jesus Christ is another way we can honor HIM.