It's been a while...

Since we updated. Daniel is still struggling with his job and career choices, but he knows that I just want him to be happy. In the meantime, the Philippines is becoming more and more of a reality. We're looking at airline tickets, we're filling out applications, and we're doing whatever it takes to get our baby, Tiger Lily, on the road with us.

Cooking and baking is still amazing to me. Recently I made my great-grandmother's butter divinity. It was amazing. Kind of hard to make, but I did it juuuust right. I'll make it again soon and post pics and her recipe. Grandmama Crouch will be turning 100 this December and she's still relatively healthy. That's pretty impressive to me.

My sister got married, younger than me, even - and my new, favoritest brother-in-law David is now in Coast Guard boot camp. I miss him already. Having him around was such a blessing. I've never had a brother before, so it's a new experience - one that I certainly won't be taking for granted. It's like having a buddy to just chill with, without necessarily having all the crazy emotional turmoil that sisters do! Not that Julie and I fight... we just certainly do not keep our opinions or thoughts to ourselves. But perhaps that's just a Bowman thing.

Right now I finally get a break - fall break! No school until next Tuesday. AHHH. And I just got back from a big business trip. I presented my 31-page published Media Guide to Indiana Healthy Marriage and Family Coalition, part of Madison County Health Center. I did really well. I met lots of amazing people and ate way too much chicken. I don't think I'm going to be able to eat chicken for the rest of the month. Literally every single meal we were served was chicken.

Anyway, I'm doing really well recently. Daniel and I recently were forced to make some firm-set decisions about having children, and we have both decided that we WILL wait until we can completely and totally financially support ourselves, in our own house, before even trying. And nothing else will deter us. I had really gone through a really rough patch - I really did want to throw away my future to have kids soon, no matter the consequences - but Daniel talked me through it. Sometimes what you WANT isn't always what you NEED. What our future children NEED is two fully mature adults with their careers on track and the income needed to provide them a comfortable lifestyle. I don't want my kids to live in poverty or with dependence on people other than their parents. And Daniel is the one who had to whisper these jewels of wisdom into my ear. I certainly wasn't able to do it myself. Sometimes, my emotionally charged brain can get the best of me.

I hope you're all doing well. If you're reading this, well, God's blessings upon you. You all mean a lot to me, you probably just don't know it.

Over, off, and out.

Jennifer<3

Insomnia much?

Thanks to side effects from some of my many medications, I have developed fairly bad insomnia over the past few months. Since it's Friday night, it's not so bad. But during the week it can get in the way of my normal routine.

I've always wanted to be one of those people who gets up at like 5:30 or 6 AM and goes to bed at 9:30 or 10. But every time I try, I can't fall asleep and then when the alarm chimes its "merry" tune at me before the sun is even shining, I cannot justify being awake. I sleep until the very last minute and sometimes after that. And then, throughout the day, it is as if I'm not there completely. Edward Norton's anonymous, infamous character from Fight Club put it best:

When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.

With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.

This is what it's turning out to be, in my mind. Of course, I have a flair for the dramatic and I may be exaggerating this, even in my own mind. I just have that kind of tendency, I guess.

I think about how much I let things affect me. Minor arguments wound me. Rude judgments pierce me. Side glances, condescension, pretension in general - whether imagined or not - cut me to the core and leave me unsure and angry. I'm very, very sensitive, and I really hate to admit it. People see emotion as such a weakness these days. Maybe they're all wrong.

I was also thinking today how glad I am that my parents introduced me to so many different types of movies, books, music, and other types of media. They rarely explicitly said, "You can't watch/do this." Now I would be banned from watching/doing things when I had gotten in trouble, but I was never.... censored, so to speak. I didn't go crazy as a result. I got to watch MTV and I thought it was horrendous.

I learned to watch movies from a Christian perspective - what I mean is, I would be able to take away something valuable from a movie no matter what it was. I developed a (very) critical eye toward all types of media.

"Garbage in, garbage out!" The James Dobsons of the world will protest. Well, how much credit are you giving your child then? If you read the Bible, and if your parents teach you wrong from right, at a certain age - you have to live and let go, right? I'm glad my parents deemed me intelligent enough to tell what's "wrong" with a movie or book (cursing, violence, nudity, etc) and what's "right" (love, forgiveness, philosophy, intellectual stimulation, relationships, good ol' entertainment). Thanks mom and dad for never "banning" me from anything and letting me make decisions for myself - I don't watch crap TV now, I read all the time, and I find something valuable in EVERY movie decision I make. And I listen to almost EVERY type of music!

I don't think I would be one of those crazy people who lets their kid watch/do/read/listen to WHATEVER they want, but I will educate my children - I think education and discretion is a much better defense than out and out censorship. At least, when these awfully sheltered kids come to college and then go crazy - and I see this happen over, and over, and over again - that is what I've come to believe.

I'll try to go to sleep, now, maybe.

Signing off and out,
Jennifer

Crock Pot Island Pork

Today was a good day. Daniel got off of work early and we went to see State of Play with my Uncle Terry who is in town and my parents. It was a good movie and I really recommend it - very intense and NOT predictable! Russell Crowe is a good actor even if he is a complete jerk in real life. Best of all, there was lots of journalism in the movie, which I looove. If only I was as good at reporting as I was about writing and talking about myself all the time.

So anyway, we came home to a wonderful, warmed pork roast that Daniel made in the crock pot on his lunch break. He made it after he had gone to a crock pot cooking class at the church his mom works at. But of course, he changed the recipe a bit... and here's the end result, a perfectly tender and delicious carved up pork roast. Here's the recipe:

2 pork tenderloins (we only used one since it's just us, and we used a Boston pork roast instead - you could really use any cut of pork or chicken)

2 tbs. olive oil

Spice Rub:
Salt & pepper
1 tsp all spice
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp dried thyme


Stuffing (optional)
2 sprigs fresh thyme
3 cloves garlic

Glaze
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
2 tbs. minced garlic
1 tsp tabasco (we used local Cleveland, TN brand Kahn's Island hot sauce - recommended)
1/2 cup orange juice

Directions

• Cut slit in middle of roast, stuff cloves and thyme sprigs (optional)
• Mix spice rub ingredients together in a small bowl and rub into pork tenderloin(s.)
• Heat oil in large skillet, brown spiced tenderloin on all sides, about 5-8 minutes. (we actually skipped this step and everything turned out fine)
  
• In small bowl, mix glaze ingredients. Place meat in the bottom of the crock pot. Cover with glaze.
• Either cook on high 2-4 hours or on low 6-8 hours. Enjoy!

(Adapted from Amanda Varnell's recipe)

Daniel enjoyed his pork roast with a baked potato, stuffed with one of the roasted garlic cloves and cheese. Because potatoes are my LEAST favorite food - I know, weird, right? - Daniel doesn't often get to eat them. But my parents were kind enough to bring him some to work, just for him!

On Sunday I may try another crock pot recipe - a dessert. ^_^ I love desserts, I have a major sweet tooth and I think fake sweeteners are of the devil and I've never had a cavity and I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with sugar! It should stop being grouped with "fat" on the food pyramid! It should go down another notch, at least.

I also love garlic.... I mean, LOVE it. Last night I made garlic bread with FIVE cloves of garlic and I could smell it on my body for hours afterward. Mmm. There's still a roasted clove of garlic that was stuffed in the pork tenderloin that I need to find something to put on that isn't a potato!

Signing out!

Jennifer